Short and clear or long and confusing

Next week we're supposed to shoot some instructional videos where we explain the point of the project, our vision and what you can expect to find here. I am struggling with the words, it's hard being that short and precise. I thought I'd let off some steam by writing a long and confusing blog about how hard it is to write short and clear statements. But I just changed my mind, I'll just throw the first draft in y'alls faces and see what you think. Come on now guys, comment and improve! Love H

 

This is meant to be the THE "What is this" VIDEO

HENRIK

Hi, Welcome to the place where we’ll make the world’s first Crowdsourced, crowdfunded and crowdmarketed movie. That is in not so modern lingo we want you, the future audience to help us fund the film, help us market the film and ultimately make the film.

ANDERS

The premise is simple: Do you want to see this movie made? Buy your tickets today and help us fund it. In return we give you a really great horror movie - somewhere on this page you can find a video presenting the story. But also a unique and entertaining site where you can follow the progress of the movie and help us with your expertise whether it’s art direction, story or just general opinion on stuff. 

HENRIK

Several times already I’ve been asked Why not do the movie the ordinary way, exclusive and secretive. I say sure but another time, right now this is much more exciting. I loved to meet my audience after my latest feature and it gave me tons of ideas, here I can meet my audience before the shoot and capitalize on all great thoughts from you guys. So please get in there and read my posts and tell me what you think. Don’t be shy to let us know if there is a feature on the site your missing or if there’s somehting you’d like to know more about. I’m really looking forward to hearing from you. I really think together, we can make a truly great horror movie.